i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
