we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
