Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
