would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
