Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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