I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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