she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
