What a fucking waste of an outfit
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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