so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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