So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize