I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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