wanna go halves on a baby?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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