Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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