i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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