Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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