Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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