Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
