She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
