Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
