i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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