if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
