Whod you bang
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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