I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
