She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
