Don't you send me to vm
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
