If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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