More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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