It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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