The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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