What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
