it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
