get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
