I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
