I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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