I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
