uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its not stalking. its research.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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