Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
