New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize