lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
