Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
