So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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