why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
