worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
