YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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