dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
