GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
