Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
