I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize