Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
