i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How external is "for external use only"?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
