just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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