Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i don't like sucking hair
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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