At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
