dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
