I need to stop coming to work sober
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
