Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
