i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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