Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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