But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
