my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I love having hate sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
