exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize