Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
