Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
