i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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