Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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