is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
