babies were throwing up all over the place
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I still have a little drunk in my system
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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