question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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