i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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