just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
