i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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