I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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